


First and Last

by gaysadandtired



Series: NCT + WayV Collection [4]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Teasing, theyre so in love, this is for my twitter au, well there is plot but unless you read the au you dont need it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23056717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysadandtired/pseuds/gaysadandtired
Summary: Guanheng was Dejun's first in many ways, and this was just one of such ways.
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Series: NCT + WayV Collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639213
Comments: 6
Kudos: 119





	First and Last

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note! This is for my twitter au so there is gonna be some mentions of things that wont make sense, but that doesn't really matter because you probably came here for the smut which is just smut.

The weight of the day had crashed over Dejun’s frame, a sigh escaping his lips as Guanheng walked him down to the living room, fingers locked as the younger of the two happily led Dejun along, prompting the older to sit down on the large sofa. Dejun smiled, his back making contact with the soft pillows scattered along the furniture. It really had been a long and eventful day packed with so much. It being Halloween today, the two boys stumbled into plenty of individuals dressed in all sorts of costumes, ranging from super detailed passion pieces, to bed sheets with cut out eye holes. That definitely added to the fun of the day. 

But the date as a whole – everything Guanheng had planned out for them to do – was great too. The younger had taken Dejun to watch one of the horror movies being played in the cinema to celebrate the yearly tradition, only to make a fool of himself when Guanheng freaked out at every single jump scare, even the ones visible from miles away. At the end of the screening, Guanheng was surrounded by all the popcorn that had landed on the floor from his excessive jumps. 

Then came the time to go and grab a proper meal. Dejun was pleasantly surprised by this, fearing that Guanheng might end up taking him to a posh and overly expensive restaurant, but when the younger had led him to a family owned traditional Chinese restaurant Dejun was very much pleased. Guanheng had declared that he wasn’t a fan of the places he would usually go out to eat with his family, saying that the atmosphere in those places was too suffocating and Dejun couldn’t help but agree. Dejun didn’t even know why he was nervous in the first place; it was clear he could trust Guanheng because the younger knew enough about him to make the right choices, even if sometimes he was too eager to throw large sums of money away for Dejun. Maybe Guanheng finally figured out that that wasn’t something Dejun really craved. 

After a meal that felt like home, Guanheng took Dejun out to a large arcade, holding his hand as they walked over, not an ounce of fear that someone who knew them would notice. It was a small detail, yet one that filled Dejun’s heart with warmth. Guanheng was proudly showing him off, the hold on his hand tight and unrelenting. Dejun felt loved, knowing that Guanheng was more than happy to have the love he held for the older on full display for the world to see. 

The time spent at the arcade was eventful and draining in the best way possible. The flashing neon lights, loud pop music and various sound effects coming from all the games was a sensory overload, but Guanheng’s playful and warm smile, his boisterous laugh and the touches he offered Dejun were like a breath of fresh air in the crammed, poorly ventilated building. Guanheng was like Dejun’s rock, keeping him in place like a support. Whenever Dejun felt like maybe he wasn’t having as much fun as he should, all he had to do was look at his boyfriend, his eyes glistening with wonder. Just one look and Dejun was recharged, finding all the energy to do whatever he wanted to. 

In the end, Guanheng had managed to spend _way_ too much money trying to win a plushie on a claw machine. Dejun kept telling his boyfriend that he didn’t have to go on, that the machine was rigged anyway, but Guanheng insisted that he would win Dejun the small dinosaur plushie even if it’s the last thing he’s ever do, all because it reminded Guanheng of the older. After way too many failures, Guanheng finally succeeded, and what joy did that bring him! The younger jumped up and down, exclaiming his delight as he handed Dejun the green toy. Now Dejun had another dino to add to his small but growing collection, all funded by his sweet boyfriend. 

At first Dejun didn’t really understand the comparison, but when he asked his other friends, they all agreed that _yes,_ Xiao Dejun did in fact resemble a gigantic prehistoric lizard – but a much cuter version of it. Yangyang had joked about it, saying that Dejun had _raptor claws,_ mimicking what he meant by making small t-rex hands, waving them around playfully. Jaemin also had agreed with Guanheng and Yangyang, this time pointing out the tendency Dejun had of looking like he was roaring when he yawned. So, Dejun had officially become a dinosaur. The comparison also stuck around due to something Renjun had mentioned once during lunch. Apparently Yongqin – Guanheng's and Renjun’s cousin – had nicknamed the older of the brothers Donkey from Shrek. 

_“You’re the Dragon to his Donkey,”_ Jeno had joked after hearing Renjun’s comment, and it just seemed to stick. 

The plushie was shoved into Guanheng’s backpack, its little head sticking out because _what if it suffocates?_ Dejun wasn’t even going to argue with that, laughing as he helped zip the bag up. It was amusing to see the small green head bobbing up and down as the boys walked back to Guanheng’s place, the chilly October air nipping at their faces. The younger kept close to Dejun, joined hands swinging in between them as they walked in a hurried pace, not wanting to spend any longer than they had to in the harsh autumn air. 

And that’s how they ended up here, tips of fingertips stinging from the drastic temperature change, giddy smiles painted across their faces. The anticipation of what was set to take place reaching an all-time high. The two boys had planned what was supposed to happen today, and all throughout the day there was an excited buzz running through their bodies, knowing full well that by the end of the day the two will have taken their relationship to a whole new level. 

Guanheng was Dejun’s first in many ways: first boyfriend, first kiss, first crush, first love, and now first time, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. The younger had been with Dejun on this journey and they were just about to pass the next stop, doing something that just felt natural to them in the course of their relationship. And Dejun was also Guanheng’s first – maybe not in all the same ways he was to the older, his first kiss and relationship being a less than memorable experience. Yet Dejun was Guanheng’s first love; the older was the first person to make Guanheng feel... well _loved._ Dejun was the sun to his moon, the star that shone with comforting light, enveloping him in warmth which felt like home – a real home. 

Yes, it sounded foolish. What could two nineteen-year olds possibly know about love? What did they know about life? What made them feel like this was the one? Well, their hearts did. And those two foolish young hearts weren’t concerned about the absurdity of it all, never once questioning the love they felt, because why should they? Why question something that lacked logic in the first place? Love was love, and all they possibly could do was put faith into it, believing that _this_ was going to be the one; the one love, the one heart destined for them, the one person they could possibly call theirs. 

Guanheng stood by the couch in front of Dejun, his cheeks tinted pink as he looked down fondly at his boyfriend, his stomach doing all types of flips. The boys both giggled, Dejun covering his face with his hand, shy under Guanheng’s gaze. 

“What’s so funny?” Guanheng asked, words paired with a wispy laugh. He kneeled down, finding himself in between Dejun’s legs, hands placed on his boyfriend’s knees, playfully pulling Dejun’s legs apart. “Is my face that funny?” The younger continued, hoping that he could ease Dejun’s nerves, unsure if the older was perhaps having second thoughts about everything. Of course, Guanheng wouldn’t hold it against Dejun because that would just be cruel. 

“Kinda,” Dejun replied with a laugh, the guffaw becoming louder as Guanheng scowled, rubbing his thumb over the joint beneath his hands. “No, I’m just-” the older took in a shaky breath, exhaling with an airy laugh, laced with a tinge of nerves. “It’s just new,” he explained, “that’s all.” 

“I know,” Guanheng assured, looking at Dejun with reassuring eyes. “But we’re in this together, okay? And any time you feel like you don’t wanna do this, or that you’re not feeling comfortable, just tell me and we can do something else. That sound good?” 

Dejun nodded, moving his hand away from his face, bottom lip between his teeth. To think Dejun got so lucky. The boy he felt would never like him back was kneeling down in front of him, making sure that he felt at ease before they were both going to have their first time with each other. To think that the boy who, this very time last year, was nothing but an acquaintance, only speaking to Dejun because he need help with his studies. To think that that very boy would end up pressing his lips against his knee, a charming smile meant just for Dejun to witness spreading across his face. 

“Very,” the older replied, his body warming up from Guanheng’s touch. His throat felt dry all of a sudden, and so he swallowed his spit, feeling his boyfriend’s eyes staring right at his neck, the way his prominent Adam’s apple bobbed. Even the smallest of his movements had Guanheng transfixed, which surely thrilled but also terrified Dejun. What if he does something stupid or totally not attractive and Guanheng sees? That would be a disa- no! It won’t, because Guanheng isn’t like that. Guanheng wouldn’t point anything that could possibly crush Dejun’s confidence, and if he did, he would only do it out of endearment or to playfully tease the older, but never would there be any malice to it. 

Guanheng began to slowly trail his hands up Dejun’s thighs, fingers splayed out over the expanse. He moved up and up until the tips of his fingers were pressed to Dejun’s waistband, a sprightly look to him. To Dejun, the younger resembled a stretching cat, limbs straight and back arched. It was rather cute and Dejun couldn’t help himself, booping the boy on the nose, causing the younger to giggle, dragging his hands back down as he sat upright. 

“You’re cute,” Dejun stated, his voice sweet. 

“Well you are cuter,” the younger pointed out, pronouncing each syllable, beaming up at his boyfriend. “No arguments about that,” he added before Dejun could protest. “Now, give me two minutes Junnie. Can you do that?” 

“I don’t think I can,” the older replied, his grin working against him. “But I’ll try,” he stated before Guanheng heaved himself up, standing up again. “Can I get a drink?” 

“Help yourself,” Guanheng replied, amused that Dejun even had to ask. “You know where the kitchen is. I’ll just be in my room, y’know, just getting the finishing touches ready.” 

“Oh?” Dejun was intrigued, wondering what his boyfriend had in store. 

Guanheng brushed it off. “It’s nothing exciting,” he stated. “But, just two minutes and I’ll be back.” 

“And when you come back?” 

The younger was already smiling, but now he was glowing. He quickly bent down, his face millimetres away from Dejun, eyes level. “Then it’s up to you,” he replied, pecking Dejun’s lips before once more moving away, the distance leaving Dejun feeling cold. The boy was about to hurry off to his room, however he stopped, sliding on the smooth floor. “And I’m just making sure, you’re fine with me topping right?” 

Dejun hummed, cheeks heating up from the question. Yet it had to be done. When the two discussed losing their virginity, the question was inevitable. Someone had to fill in one role and someone else the other, and so the decision was made. Guanheng had assured that he felt comfortable with anything, so it was really up to Dejun and what he felt would be right for him. Despite everything – all the times Dejun assumed that Guanheng wanted to be on top – once Dejun found out that Guanheng would also have been fine with bottoming, Dejun had to think it through. 

There were pros and cons to either side of the coin and so Dejun considered. On one hand, bottoming would most definitely hurt, especially the first-time round, but then again, once the initial strangeness of the foreign feeling disappeared it would end up – hopefully – feeling amazing. And then there was topping, and when Dejun really put his head to it he realised that maybe, just _maybe,_ he wasn’t fit for it on their first try. Dejun wasn’t Guanheng; once the older began to panic he _really_ started to panic, and that’s just not something he wanted. Dejun would probably apologise every second, worrying immensely over Guanheng and how he felt up to the point where it became unbearable. 

That’s where Guanheng shone though; the younger was calmer, and very caring without crossing the line into overbearing. Guanheng knew just what to say to Dejun to ease him, to make him feel good. He knew how to touch and treat him, as made evident from the other two times the boys had had gotten physical. First with Guanheng palming Dejun, never once taking his attention off Dejun, lips covering the older in kisses to comfort Dejun in this new feeling proximity. Or when Dejun had offered his boyfriend a blowjob. All throughout the process, Guanheng checked up on Dejun, being delicate when he needed to, and rougher when Dejun wanted it. Or when Guanheng held on dearly onto Dejun as the older desperately grinded against Guanheng’s thigh, his movements restless and just when everything began to feel like too much, Guanheng did everything to get Dejun to each his peak, the hand on his back guiding him through the rolls of his hips. And of course: the dirty talk. Dejun had no idea how to say half the things Guanheng could without his face burning up with embarrassment. If he didn’t know better, Dejun would have thought that Guanheng has done this before. 

And so, Dejun had decided that for now, until both of them got into the swing of things, Dejun would bottom. He came knowing full well that he’d feel discomfort today – he read plenty of forums to know, and his common sense also added to that understanding – but he was prepared for it. He trusted Guanheng. He trusted that the younger would do everything in his power to make Dejun feel as good as possible, even if a rough start was unavoidable. 

The older poured himself a glass of water, drowning down the cold liquid in three large gulps. He placed his hands flat on the countertop, putting the glass down in the sink. The boy needs to take a moment to process that he’s actually here, that something he never imagined to happen was becoming a reality. It made him feel giddy, somewhat queasy yes, but giddy nevertheless. 

Dejun heard a sound coming from Guanheng’s room, his head whipping around in curiosity. In all fairness it sounded like something had fallen over, which is why Dejun chuckled, pushing himself from the counter. He walked over to Guanheng’s room, standing outside, ear pressed to the shut door. “You good in there?” 

“Peachy!” The younger replied from the other side. “Just got attacked by my desk, that’s all.” 

“You’re a mess,” Dejun teased, words full of fondness and affection for the younger. 

“I’m fully aware, but thanks for reminding me.” 

“When can I come in?” The older asked, and as soon as he finished his question, the doors swung open, revealing Guanheng and his bright grin. Not much had changed about the younger other than the fact he had stripped off his large hoodie, his chest only covered with a band t-shirt. 

“Now,” Guanheng replied, moving out of the way for Dejun to walk in, bowing down jokingly, pretending to treat Dejun like royalty – though he did that every day. “Hope it’s not over the top,” the younger said, closing the door after Dejun, suddenly feeling shy as Dejun looked over his room. 

There were no rose petals or anything of the sort, however there were a few candles lit setting the mood with their warm flickering glow. The room also smelled nice, and Dejun wondered if Guanheng had by chance gotten scented candles, the aroma familiar to his nose. All Dejun could say about Guanheng’s room was that it felt warm and inviting. Dejun wanted to be there, he wanted to roll around on Guanheng’s bed, messing up the crisp clean sheets with his body. He wanted kiss the younger surrounded by the soft glow of candlelight, to have his senses completely overridden with everything that had to do with Guanheng. 

“I love it,” Dejun declared, eyes sparkling with awe, dancing flames reflecting in his lit-up pupils. The boy looked over at Guanheng, a childlike smile on his face. “I really do,” he added, causing a blush to creep up on Guanheng’s neck and cheeks. “You did all this for me?” 

“Of course,” Guanheng replied, taking steps closer to Dejun, wrapping the arms around Dejun’s middle, kissing the corner of his mouth. “It’s not much, but I wanted to make this feel special. You mean the world to me, Junnie. I wish I could do more to make you see how much you mean to me, and a few candles probably aren’t gonna do it, but I just... yeah.” The boy giggled, eyes flickering down for a second, shy from his heartfelt ramble. 

“You make me feel special,” Dejun stated, cuddling up to Guanheng, burying his face in the nook of Guanheng’s neck. The younger hummed, kissing the top of Dejun’s hair, his fingers tugging at the fabric of Dejun’s shirt – the older actually put in effort to dress up nicely today which did make Guanheng feel kind of bad for simply coming out in a hoodie, but Dejun had assured that he loved Guanheng’s outfit, finding it very much his boyfriend’s charming style. Guanheng could stay like this, letting time fly around him as he simply held onto the older, knowing that he could never get bored of the warm and cosy feeling Dejun offered him. 

The two boyfriends swayed where they stood, dancing along to the melody of their beating hearts. There was no rush, none whatsoever. But as they gently moved like waves upon the shore, they slowly began to near in the direction of the bed, the sheets neat and freshly washed. 

And so, Dejun pulled himself up, looking into the eyes of his boyfriend. He saw a mirror reflection of how he also felt: giddy an anxious. Knowing that Guanheng was just like him was definitely reassuring. 

“You nervous?” Dejun asked, lip in between his teeth. 

“Yeah,” the younger replied airily, loosening his embrace, dropping his hands to rest on Dejun’s hips. He played with the clumped-up fabric, scrunching it up further and lifting it up before simply placing his hands under the shirt. Dejun winced at the abrupt cold making contact with his skin, jumping up at the shock. Guanheng chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the skin beneath his hand. 

Dejun offered a reassuring smile. “First time, huh?” He added jokingly, looping his arms around Guanheng’s neck. He was expecting the younger to simply hum or chuckle, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to Guanheng to – so seriously – reply with a: “I’ve been nervous before.” 

A moment of silence passed before Guanheng realised his mistake. The younger scrunched his face, groaning as he hid his face much to Dejun’s amusement. “Ignore that,” Guanheng pleaded, only to have Dejun shake his head no repeatedly. The younger continued to whine, laughing in his own embarrassment. Dejun erupted into laughter, adding to the redness of Guanheng’s ears. 

“Never,” Dejun teased which only caused more whines from the younger. “I’m gonna bring this up constantly, I hope you know that.” 

“No,” Guanheng whined, dragging the syllable out. “You’re such a meanie.” He hid his face against Dejun’s shoulder, his lips curving upwards as the older pulled Guanheng closer to him. They remained like that for another minute until the heat radiating from their bodies became too much. Guanheng slowly looked up, making eye contact with his boyfriend who was just waiting to kiss the younger, inching their faces together to place a sweet kiss on Guanheng’s plush lips. “A very cute meanie,” the younger added, loving the giggle which escaped Dejun’s lips as he pulled away, the sound causing heart palpitations that made Guanheng feel like he was about to fly up into the clouds. 

“And you’re just a cutie in general,” Dejun stated, bending his back up, relying on Guanheng’s hold to prevent him from toppling over backwards. The younger wasn’t expecting the abrupt movement, yet he still securely held onto Dejun, tightening his grip. For a second Dejun did genuinely feel like he was about to fall, but luckily his boyfriend would never let that happen. With the arch of his back, Dejun’s lower half was pressed closer to Guanheng which was clearly intentional, almost as if to say _let’s actually do something tonight._

“Watch it babe,” Guanheng teased, “you’re gonna crack your spine.” 

Dejun pulled his lips in a thin line, an unimpressed look to his face. “Call me old and I’m leaving,” he warned, his serious expression threatening to crack as Guanheng grinned, moving in closer to place his lips against the revealed skin of Dejun’s upper chest, the top buttons of his shirt undone. The older looked up at the eggshell white ceiling, trying to suppress the wide smile that was just begging to come out as Guanheng kept leaving delicate kisses to Dejun’s supple skin. 

“Nothing of the sorts,” Guanheng assured, trailing one hand further up Dejun’s back, laying it flat at the centre, firmly keeping his boyfriend in this position. His lips continued working on Dejun’s collarbones, tongue lapping over small spots before nipping down on the skin, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. 

The older rolled his head back, enjoying the way in which Guanheng paid up most attention to him, from the imprints he was making on his skin to the way he put so much effort into keeping Dejun steady even if the older was leaning further and further back. It wasn’t that Dejun wanted to make Guanheng’s life hard, but more the fact that he wanted the younger to catch a clue that he wished to lay down, doing everything they were currently doing now from the comfort of Guanheng’s bed. 

“You’re gonna tip over,” Guanheng pointed out, using even more of his strength to keep the older upright. 

“Am I now? How about you lay me down on your bed?” Dejun suggested, spotting the exact moment Guanheng realised what Dejun was doing. The younger looked up from Dejun’s chest, mouth agape and eyes pooling with a new found emotion: a mix of excitement, nerves and most importantly lust. “What do you think?” The older smirked, and after a brief second to process everything, Guanheng suddenly pulled Dejun in closely, forcing the older to stand up properly. Dejun yelped, chuckling afterwards at Guanheng’s eagerness. “So you can get a clue,” he joked, dragging his hands up to cup Guanheng’s face, squishing his cheeks together before placing a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“Pragmatics baby,” Guanheng quipped, slithering his hand in between their chests, pushing Dejun away in the direction of the bed until Dejun’s calves made contact with the bed. 

Dejun chuckled. “Is it now?” 

The younger shrugged, his hand flat on Dejun’s chest. “Dunno, I heard it in class.” 

“You gonna discuss school right now?” 

“If you’re into that, sure. Everyone’s got their kinks, right?” 

Dejun scoffed, placing his hand atop Guanheng’s, tugging at the younger’s wrist and swiftly changing their positions. The younger’s eyes widened in shock, and they only became wider as Dejun pushed him down on the bed, the furniture groaning at the added weight. “Sure do,” Dejun replied. “For example, my kink is moving things along,” he confessed. 

“That is pretty sexy,” Guanheng stated after taking in the initial shock of what just happened. But, at this point, Guanheng should have been prepared for something like this to occur. After all, Dejun did often take the lead in situations like these, only handing the reins over to Guanheng once he got the ball rolling and Guanheng was finally in the zone. The younger needed a catalyst to get him up and running, and that just turned out to be Dejun taking things into his own hands. Dejun was always full of surprises – he's always managed to catch Guanheng off guard from the start. He insisted that he was boring, that he was a goody-two-shoes and a pushover, and for all its worth Guanheng used to think that to an extent before he got to know about the older. There was more to Dejun than what meets eye, layered like a Matryoshka doll, the complexity of his character hidden away by the previous tier. Guanheng still had so many layers to peel off figuratively, and in this current context quite literally. 

“I know right.” The older was still standing up, the younger sitting with his hands reached out to hold either sides of Dejun’s hips. Guanheng wanted to just pull Dejun down on top of him, but before that he wanted to do every single one of his buttons, preferably at an antagonising pace as to rile Dejun up. However, it seemed as Dejun had something come to mind. He became smaller, looking down at Guanheng’s knees to avoid eye contact before he spoke coyly. “Can I ask you something? Something stupid?” 

Guanheng smiled affectionately. “Of course you can. No question is too stupid for me,” he guaranteed. “I mean, do you hear half the dumb shit I say?” 

Dejun chuckled. “Give yourself some credit, some of that dumb shit is actually fascinating.” 

“If you’re referring to the time me and Jeno were confused about how chicken eggs are fertilised then no, that was just plain old stupid.” 

The older couldn’t deny that, nodding along in agreement. “But it was entertaining to watch you two completely lose it at the prospect of chicken periods.” 

“Never bring that up again,” the younger pleaded. “Jaemin and Renjun have teased me enough already. I don’t wanna be bullied again.” Dejun snorted, shaking his head in disbelief at the ridiculous memory. “But moving on swiftly: what’s the question?” 

Dejun exhaled, glancing up at Guanheng before promptly looking away once more. “I was just... why me? Like, out of all the people in the world, why me?” The standing boy, unsure what to do with his hands, searched for comfort and reassurance from his boyfriend, the younger gladly joining their hands together, letting them swing in between their bodies. “I mean, there are so many people in our class alone that like you. You have girls practically swooning over you, but you chose me. Why?” 

Moments like these are when Guanheng wishes he was better with words. The younger struggles so much with expressing everything he feels for Dejun, a lump forming in his form every time he even attempts to say anything meaningful. Guanheng was terrible with words, no matter how much Dejun loved to remind him that wasn’t the case. To the older, Guanheng knew exactly what to say, and when he didn’t, he did something more meaningful, be it offer comforting touches, tender kisses, or even just buy Dejun a coffee because he noticed the older looked tired or cold. Guanheng didn’t need words, yet he so desperately wanted to be able to say everything which his heart felt; he wanted to describe the butterflies and warmth he felt using all the metaphors imaginable; he wanted to be a poet for Dejun, to write him sonnets or songs just like the older does for him. He wanted to say more, but he couldn’t. That didn’t mean he couldn’t try to. 

“Because you’re you,” Guanheng replied. 

“And what was so special about me that you chose me, risking people finding out that you’re dating a boy? You could have any girl but you chose some loner that was too nervous to even talk to you during our revision sessions. Why bother with me?” 

“You’re better than you give yourself the credit for,” the younger stated, gently caressing the back of Dejun’s hands with his thumbs. “You’re the most fun person I’ve ever met. You’re funny, handsome, smart, and you make some pretty bomb ass brownies.” Both boys chuckled at that, Dejun gladly taking the last compliment. “And I mean, out of all the people who’ve tried to get close to me, you were the only one who saw me as more than just a pretty face or the popular guy related to that other popular guy. You just... get me, and you make me want to be a better person. And just... you make me feel happy and all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I’m glad we’re together, and the risk that you’re talking about feels like nothing when I’m with you. I don’t care what others would think as long as I have you by my side.” 

Dejun was overwhelmed, his heart running a marathon, pounding at his chest and threatening to jump out. He giggled, feeling on cloud nine from Guanheng’s sincere words. “You make me warm and fuzzy too,” he admitted with a goofy lovestruck smile. “Like home- you feel like home.” 

“I’ll be your home then,” Guanheng declared, gently tugging at Dejun’s hand, urging the older to finally straddle him, sitting down in his lap so that Guanheng could kiss him senseless, faces turning blue and lips bruising from all the attention placed on them. 

There was a word for what Guanheng felt for Dejun: love. Love felt like a cold winter night cuddled up by the fireplace, rain on a summer night in the city, but most importantly it felt like home. Anywhere with Dejun felt like home; his touch, soothing voice, his lips, everything, it all felt right just what home was supposed to be. Guanheng wanted to shout from the rooftops, declaring the love he had for Dejun, the way his stomach tightened and throat clogged up when he saw him, the way his heart pounded and skin burned upon Dejun’s proximity. He wanted to tell Dejun he loved him, but he was too scared. Of what exactly? It was hard to tell. 

It was clear to everyone around them that they were in love, very much so, yet neither of them have said those three magic words. Guanheng knew he loved Dejun, but there was something preventing him from vocalising what he wanted to. On one hand, Guanheng was worried that he’d scare Dejun off; they were both so young, and love was such a strong word to use that Guanheng feared that if he told Dejun, the older would panic, or worse he wouldn’t say it back. Guanheng would much rather wait until they were both ready to confess their true feelings, even if it pained him that he couldn't express everything he wanted to with one simple declaration. 

Dejun swung his legs over Guanheng’s lap, straddling the younger, his hands planted on Guanheng’s shoulders. He wasn’t fully sat down though, a faint burn in his thighs as he hovered himself above the younger. Guanheng pouted, the hands he placed on Dejun’s waist pulling the older down. 

“What was that for?” Guanheng asked, stroking up Dejun’s sides, hating the barrier between his hands and Dejun’s bare torso. 

“Just wanted to see how quickly you’d crack,” the older replied, sliding his hands around Guanheng’s neck, fingertips locking at his nape. “Couldn’t even last a minute,” he teased, leaning towards Guanheng’s lips. His eyes fluttered shut as he got closer, whimpering when Guanheng forced his plush pink lips apart with his tongue, slithering into the heat of his mouth as if he owned it, Dejun melting in his hold. 

It didn’t take much for Dejun to become an absolute mess when Guanheng’s kisses were involved, especially since the sexual tension between them had been rising steadily through the duration of their relationship. Dejun was needy, and despite his typically composed demeanour, the moment Guanheng’s lips and hands started to roam over him was the moment his resolve snapped and he was left wanting more, going as far as crossing his own boundaries, for example practically beginning Guanheng to mark him as his as he forced Guanheng’s busy mouth to his collarbones, kisses bordering the untouched canvas that was his neck. Of course, Dejun wanted Guanheng to go higher, and one of these days he will lack the restraint needed to stop himself from indulging on that pleasure, even if it means rocking up to school or work covered in a multitude of purple bruises he won’t be able to hide or explain. 

Guanheng licked into Dejun’s mouth, the pressure of his kiss pushing the older back, his spine curving and flushing his chest against Guanheng. The younger preferred to do things slow, Dejun noticed after a while. Guanheng liked the slower, more emotion packed kisses whilst Dejun liked to pick the pace up, eager to be touched and loved all over. Guanheng was a tease, sometimes on purpose and sometimes simply because of his nature, attentively dragging his hands and lips over every single slither of skin made available to him, admiring all that there was to Dejun’s physical beauty. _Oh_ and what a beauty it is, and that’s only the parts Guanheng has been lucky enough to witness. 

Dejun slowly rolled his hips, the movement faint enough to not have even happened, but the bare minimum felt like so much at the moment. He continued the rotation of his lower body, slowly but surely working himself up, especially with Guanheng’s tongue claiming him without the slightest fight for dominance. 

The younger pulled away ever so slightly, the kiss more of a mix of hot breaths than any direct contact. He took Dejun’s bottom lip between his teeth, dragging it before letting it plop right back. Their eyes locked, and Dejun gulped, lust slowly pooling at his navel as Guanheng stared right into his soul, pupils glazing over with a veil of black. Dejun wanted to say something – anything – but he couldn’t, feeling at a loss of words, mind filled only with the thought of what Guanheng could do to him with eyes like that. He keened as the younger tugged at the front of his shirt with one hand, pulling Dejun back in, this time to attach himself to Dejun’s jaw, trailing open mouthed kisses down the slope of his neck. 

Guanheng’s mouth did so many wonders, and so the idea of him going even further down to wrap his hot wet mouth around Dejun’s length was enough for the older to whine, forcing his eyes shut, the image playing over in his mind. 

“You sound so good,” Guanheng murmured with praise, forcing Dejun to expose more of his neck, lapping his tongue over his prominent Adam’s apple, working over the lump slowly. “Only for me too. Aren’t I lucky?” The younger continued, arching his back to lean further down, lips pressed to Dejun’s jugular notch, the fabric of his shirt preventing him from going any lower – for now. 

“Keep going and you’ll hear even more,” the older promised, retracting one of his hands from Guanheng’s neck, bringing it up to his shirt to undo the buttons with shaky hands, needing to feel Guanheng’s kisses on his chest down to his navel. “A lot mo-” Guanheng slid one hand down to Dejun’s ass, squeezing the soft fat as he bit sucked at the skin beneath his mouth, the sudden act sending a surge of electricity up Dejun’s spine, eliciting an airy moan from him. “ _Oh!”_ His hips bucked abruptly, his fingers clutching on tightly to the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Just like that,” Guanheng whispered, helping Dejun out with all those pesky buttons. “Sounds so pretty. I could listen all day.” 

“Then touch me,” Dejun pleaded, causing his boyfriend to chuckle. 

“I am, baby.” 

“More,” the older ordered, grinding own on Guanheng’s clothed thighs, the friction offered by all the layers of clothing absolutely mind numbing. “Touch me more. I want your hands all over.” Dejun rolled his hips once more, head thrown back, exposing more and more skin for Guanheng to traverse. “Please,” he whined. 

Guanheng was incapable of saying no, especially not when Dejun pleaded with him with those glistening eyes, so needy and eager. “Okay baby. Anything you want.” Guanheng laid back, making contact with the mattress. Dejun followed after him, his hands either side of Guanheng’s head to prop himself up. “Roll over, Junnie.” 

Without hesitation Dejun did as told, laying comfortably on Guanheng’s bed, pushing himself up so that his legs wouldn’t dangle, his head resting on one of the many pillows strewn around. Guanheng moved over to Dejun, trapping the older with his limbs, face hovering centimetres from his boyfriend. 

“So fucking beautiful,” Guanheng uttered in awe, leaning down to place a single delicate kiss on the lips that drove him absolutely crazy. “I don’t know what to do with myself when I look at you. All I wanna do is kiss you and hold you, do anything to make you feel good. When we’re apart all I can think of is you and all the things I’d love to do with you.” 

“Like what?” Dejun asked, words breathy. He licked over his lips before taking the bottom one between his teeth. 

“Kiss you until I can’t breathe,” the younger started to list off, Dejun’s attentively listening to him. “I’d hold you like there’s no tomorrow, or do the most mundane things in the world or absolutely nothing, as long as I can be with you and touch you.” 

“And what would you do to me now?” The older placed his hands over his chest, working at the buttons still left to be undone. He needed the shirt off as soon as possible; he needed to put himself up on display for Guanheng so that the younger can finally get to work on all that Dejun had to offer. “What would you want to do to me?” 

“Anything to have you moan my name,” Guanheng replied, leaning towards Dejun’s ear to whisper those filthy words. 

Dejun’s breath got caught in his throat, a shiver running down his frame. “Anything like- like what?” He stuttered, managing to undo the last of his buttons, successfully uncovering his untouched chest, his nipples perking up at the abrupt crash of cooler air as well as his swelling arousal. He quickly shimmied out from the fabric, even if the position he was in made it difficult. 

Guanheng pulled himself away from Dejun’s ear, instead nipping at the sensitive skin just beneath it. He knew how Dejun reacted to that particular spot, the way his breathe hitched and lips parted whenever Guanheng brought any attention to it. And just like he had predicted, Dejun did just that but with the addition of his body squirming, though that may not have been from Guanheng’s mouth alone. No, for Guanheng had trailed his hand down Dejun’s chest, fingertips merely a ghost touch to the rather neglected stretch of skin. His hand moved down and down until it was resting over Dejun’s crotch. He was barely putting any pressure on it, but just the fact that it was there was enough for it to feel so much stronger than it really was. 

The younger chuckled, carefully applying more pressure to the bulge in Dejun’s pants. His boyfriend mewled, his hands quick to latch themselves onto Guanheng’s shoulders, seeking support in him. Guanheng lifted his own hand off, earning a displeased whimper from Dejun, only to force his hand back down again, this time with more force. 

“Gua- _ahh”_

“Like that for example,” Guanheng replied smugly, very satisfied with himself. “That works, doesn’t it?” He added with a grin, leaning down to kiss Dejun, enjoying himself very much. Guanheng did prefer the slower, more tender approach to pleasuring his boyfriend because it allowed him to take in every aspect of Dejun’s being; if he had been frenetic and rushed, he would have missed so much of what he loves about Dejun’s gorgeous body. 

Guanheng would have missed the hitch of Dejun’s breath as his mouth did wonders to his neck, the way he arched his back when Guanheng dragged his fingers down his sides, or the way he whimpered and forced his eyes shut when Guanheng placed hot, open mouthed kisses to his abdomen. Guanheng would much rather send millions of jolts of electricity down Dejun’s frame with the faintest of touches than have the older overwhelmed with hasty and sloppy kisses that would leave him feeling used and empty by the end. Unless, that was something Dejun wanted, in which case he’d do whatever Dejun wanted to him. Guanheng would give Dejun the world if that’s what he wished for. 

Dejun tangled his fingers in Guanheng’s hair, kissing into his mouth with a newly discovered fervour, all whilst Guanheng languidly dragged his hand up from Dejun’s crotch to the boy’s bare chest, tracing patterns with his fingertips, the faintest of touches teasing the older, chest rising and falling at the individual sparks Guanheng’s touch offered. As Guanheng passed over one of the perked-up buds on Dejun’s chest, the older gasped, mouth parting further for Guanheng’s exploration. 

To Guanheng, everything about Dejun resembled the sensation of home, and even the sultry heat of his mouth tasted like such. The bitterness of the coffee Dejun loved so much, mixed in with the sweetness of pastries and caramel confectionary was like heaven to Guanheng. Dejun was warm, like a blanket protecting him from the harsh wintry winds, embracing him with so much love that left Guanheng in a state of utter and complete bliss. So yes, Dejun was home, and Guanheng refused to ever let him go, not when he was the only person in the entire universe that filled him with such warmth and love. 

Guanheng’s travelling hand paused over Dejun’s beating heart. He revelled in the soft thumping against his palm, relishing the beauty of Dejun’s affectionate heart. A heart which held love for him, and a heart he must protect from all the cruelty of the world. He’d keep it safe if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 

The fingers running through Guanheng’s hair began to inch down to his neck until finally they had wrapped themselves at the neckline of his t-shirt. Dejun clutched at the fabric, pulling it up to prompt the younger to take it off. Guanheng smiled into the kiss, carefully dragging his lips away from Dejun, a string of their combined saliva following after him. Guanheng sat himself on Dejun’s lap, legs straddling him either side. He searched for Dejun’s eyes, stripping himself of his t-shirt, putting on a show for the boy laying beneath him. 

Dejun’s hands were quick to glue themselves onto the newly exposed plain. He pulled the younger down again, craving the sensation of burning skin coming together. There were so many things Dejun wanted, so many of his needs contradicting themselves, fighting for dominance. Dejun wanted to be touched all over, he wanted to be kissed, yet he also just wanted to feel Guanheng against him, preventing the younger from roaming his hands over his needy body just so that he could experience this proximity. 

“What do you want, Junnie?” Guanheng questioned softly, leaving a subtle kiss on Dejun’s neck. “Where do you want my mouth, baby?” He continued, playfully rolling his hips, his clothed semi rubbing against Dejun’s bulge. 

At that, Dejun keened, his nails digging into Guanheng’s shoulder blades. “There,” he replied, voice airy with neediness. “I wanna know- how it feels.” 

Guanheng chuckled, drawing himself away from Dejun, much to his boyfriend’s displeasure. As of everything they’ve done so far, Guanheng was the only one to have experienced the mindboggling feeling of being taken fully into someone’s mouth. Dejun had been so eager to try, even on his first time doing anything of the sorts going far beyond what Guanheng could have ever expected him to do. The older had taken him so well, bobbing his wet mouth up and down Guanheng’s length, making the younger release from that alone. It was understandable why Dejun wanted to experience the very same thing from Guanheng, and the younger was glad to comply. 

“And you will,” Guanheng assured, moving further down Dejun’s body, trailing the middle of his torso with heated kisses, leaving behind a sheen of his spit, marking the older as his alongside the new and old purple stamps adoring his canvas. “I’ll show you baby,” he continued, now down by Dejun’s happy trail fingers playing with Dejun’s belt. “I’ll show you how good you make me feel, how I loved your pretty pink lips wrapped around my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby?” 

Dejun mewled, nodding hurriedly as Guanheng unzipped his pants. The younger didn’t pull the jeans off yet, waiting until the older practically begged him to free him of what now felt like shackles, keeping him away from feeling he craved for with his entire being. “Guanheng, please,” Dejun whined, looking down at the boy in between his legs. “Take them off already. _Please_.” 

“As you wish, Junnie,” the younger said with a smirk, tugging the black skinny jeans down, leaving the younger in his boxers, much to Dejun’s displeasure, the older thinking that Guanheng would have pulled them down too. Guanheng helped Dejun kick off the jeans pooling at his knees, dropping them to the floor by the bed. “I know you’re needy,” Guanheng declared, noticing the frown that made its way over onto Dejun’s face, “but let me have some fun too. I want you to feel everything. Okay?” 

The older looked at his boyfriend for a brief second, his scowl softening. How could he stay annoyed at Guanheng when he looked at him like that, when all he wanted was to satisfy Dejun? “Okay.” 

Guanheng grinned, lowering himself over the tent in Dejun’s boxers, the outline of his erection prominent. His mouth watered, understanding the hunger with which Dejun had taken him back then. “Oh look at you,” he whispered, bringing his bottom lip to the fabric. “So pretty and eager. Oh Junnie,” he continued, sticking his tongue out, pressing it flat against the bulge, the added weight evoking a stunning whine from Dejun, one which Guanheng would keep locked away in his memory forever, cherishing the mewl of pleasure only he was able to bring out from Dejun. “If only you could hear and see yourself, baby. Maybe then you’d understand how wild you drive me.” 

Dejun found himself at a loss for words, the only noises he could force out where airy moans which Guanheng earned himself with his open mouth over his clothed erection. He had no idea how his boyfriend was so skilled with his mouth – in this sense the way he spoke. How did he learn to say all the right things, all those lewd things? 

“Want you,” was all he could muster up, hands gripping onto the bedsheets. His body felt so hot already. His arousal was clearly to blame, but all the burning candles scattered around definitely added to the overall high temperature of Guanheng’s room – the same room that was usually too cold for Dejun’s personal preference. 

“You have me,” Guanheng assured, hooking his fingers beneath the elastic band of Dejun’s boxers, pulling the fabric down at a tediously slow pace, dragging every second out. Finally though, the torture was over. Dejun’s erection had at last been freed, a shiver running down his spine at the vulnerability that this brought on. Guanheng grinned, taking in the sight of his boyfriend splayed over the bed, so exposed and alluring. He was so eloquent, so dazzling and radiant that all Guanheng could wonder was what artwork his boyfriend had stepped right out of. “Look at that,” he muttered, his fingers stroking the inside of Guanheng’s thighs, pushing his legs apart and spreading the older out. “Stunning,” he added, his hot breath hitting the sensitive member, a whimper passing through Dejun’s parted lips. 

Catching onto Dejun’s needy noises, Guanheng licked a strip up Dejun’s shaft, enjoying watching his boyfriend’s back arch ever so slightly off the bed. It filled him with a desire for much more; he wanted to have Dejun squirm beneath him, body rolling like waves from Guanheng alone. He set himself a goal for tonight, one which he had to achieve at all costs. 

Now at the tip, Guanheng made eye contact with the older, a cheeky grin on his face as he ran his tongue over Dejun’s slit, collecting the beading precum with the slow and rhythmic movements. Dejun’s breathing was strained now, panting as Guanheng teased the crown. He wanted so much more, but at the same time he loved the build-up that Guanheng’s agonising pace offered. 

Then, just as Dejun was getting used to it, Guanheng sunk his head down, wrapping his hot mouth around Dejun’s length. Dejun moaned, tugging at the bedsheets, pulling them from under the mattress. That wasn’t satisfying though, offering Dejun no help whatsoever. And so, Dejun buried his hands in Guanheng’s messy hair, glad that the younger had decided to grow it out some more because it gave him more to grasp at. 

Guanheng lowered himself even further, his tongue flat as he took his boyfriend in. There definitely was something intoxicating about this position; the way Dejun’s girth stretched his mouth open or the knowledge that all he had to do to have Dejun writhing was drag himself up and down his leaking cock was enough to make Guanheng never stop. And so, he went down even lower, using his saliva and the clear liquid pooling from Dejun’s slit he was dragging down with his tongue to lubricate the older. He didn’t take Dejun whole on his first try, instead hollowing his cheeks and pulling himself up slowly, earning himself the moans of his name he had coveted so much. 

“Gau- Guanheng,” the older called out, the grip he had on his boyfriend’s hair teetering on painful. “ _Fuck_ ,” he continued, chest rising and falling at a gradually increasing pace. 

The younger smiled softly, observing as Dejun was slowly beginning to fall apart at the seams. He wrapped his hand around the base of Dejun’s dick before marginally flicking his wrist, moving up and down, jerking his boyfriend off with the smallest movements he could manage. He continued to drag his palm around Dejun, covering more and more of his length in his own spit and Dejun’s precum. 

Having played around enough with Dejun, Guanheng sunk himself down again, this time going even further than before, Dejun’s tip hitting the back of his throat. He gasped, quickly pulling back from the abrupt pressure which made him gag. Still though, that wasn’t enough to stop him, and so he went back down again, licking over Dejun’s leaking cock, his hand holding what he couldn’t quite reach. Dejun was forcing himself to keep his hips attached to the bed, scared that if he let his restraint go, he’d end up hurting Guanheng. But it was getting painful now; all Dejun wanted to do was buck his hips up franticly, to arch his back as Guanheng swallowed around him. 

Guanheng stared right up at Dejun through his eyelashes, his nose buried in Dejun’s happy trail, looking like he had stepped right out of one of Dejun’s wet dreams. As if he had read Dejun’s mind, Guanheng hummed, practically testing how much the older could withstand before he finally snapped, letting go of any control he had over his body. 

Not much longer now. 

With a sinful wet _pop_ , Guanheng heaved himself off Dejun, the older of the two quickly rolling his hips the way he’s been fighting against doing, fucking the hand which was wrapped at the base of his length. Guanheng chuckled, helping Dejun out with the flicks of his wrist. Dejun arched his back, panting heavily, clawing at the bedsheets, his eyes tightly shut and bottom lips between his teeth close to drawing blood. 

“Keep going baby, come for me,” the younger coaxed, yet Dejun shook his head no, trying his damn hardest to stop himself. 

“N-no,” Dejun whimpered. He didn’t want to end like this. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to end. He didn’t know if he could go through two rounds, not when just this had him on the verge of passing out. He needed to feel Guanheng inside him, and so he could think of doing only one thing to get his way right now. “Stop,” he cried out. And just like that, Guanheng stopped. 

Guanheng halted everything, worry crashing over him. “Baby what’s wrong?” He asked. “Did I do something wrong? Junnie, are you okay?” 

Dejun sighed in relief, a soft giggle escaping his lips. “I’m good,” Dejun replied, voice strained and airy. “I feel so good,” he assured, washing away the concern from Guanheng. “I just- not like this. I wanna feel you. I want it, Hen. Please.” 

The younger felt a rush of lust flowing right to his abdomen, his untouched cock twitching at Dejun’s needy request. He nodded, passionately kissing his boyfriend as he began to work on his belt and buttons, quickly pulling his jeans down and kicking them off the bed. He rid himself of his jeans and boxers in one go, not wanting to waste any more time fiddling about with all the layers. Now stripped of their clothes, the only things adoring their bodies were the matching necklaces Guanheng had gotten them for Dejun’s birthday; it was a promise made between them, one which Guanheng couldn’t begin to think of ever breaking. Despite his previous – and very brief – relationship, Dejun was and will be Guanheng’s first and last love. 

Guanheng took in a shaky breath. All of a sudden, he was hit with a million different thoughts. What if he was terrible at it? What if Dejun ends up hating it? Or the worst of them all: what if he hurts Dejun? It was normal to question himself when doing anything for the first time, but it was no use letting all the negative thoughts run wild. 

“Hey,” Dejun called out softly, reaching for Guanheng’s hand, locking their fingers together. “Relax. And breath, okay?” The younger nodded, pressing a loving kiss to the corner of Dejun’s mouth. “There we go. Now stop worrying, it’s bad for your health.” 

Guanheng chuckled, pulling himself up, leaving the radiating heat of Dejun’s body to instead open his bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube and condom. He did get somewhat overwhelmed at the store he bought them from, all the names and sizes and types were too much to comprehend, but in the end – and with the advice of Yongqin who was much more experienced than him – Guanheng managed to get what he needed. 

And here he was now, popping open the cap of the bottle, pouring a generous amount onto his hand and rubbing the liquid around to warm it up. This part? This he understood. He knew what to do next, but he didn’t know how to do it well. He needed to prepare Dejun or else it would hurt him, and nobody wanted that. Dejun observed each and every one of Guanheng’s movements like a hawk, propping himself on his elbows to watch closer even though he knew he was going to lay down in the matter of seconds. 

“Use a pillow, baby,” Guanheng suggested. “To prop your waist up,” he added in case Dejun didn’t understood what he meant. Luckily Dejun knew, grabbing the softest of Guanheng’s pillows which made the younger smile. Dejun deserved only the best of the best, anything to make him comfortable. “That’s great, Junnie. You feeling good?” 

“Fantastic,” Dejun replied with a beam, “but not quite perfect. That’s your job.” 

“Yes it is,” the younger agreed, satisfied that his fingers were lubbed up well enough. If they weren’t, he could always add more at Dejun’s request. He shuffled over closer, kneeling himself in between Dejun’s spread legs, his tight pink hole on full display. Carefully, Guanheng inched his finger closer, teasing the rim, earning a gasp from Dejun. “You okay with this?” 

“You haven’t even done anything,” Dejun quipped sarcastically, making his boyfriend from. “But yes, I’m okay. I really want this. I really do.” 

“That’s a relief, because I really want this too.” 

“In that case, let’s go.” 

Guanheng took one of Dejun’s hands, bringing it to his lips to kiss. “I’ll be extra gentle, but tell me if anything hurts. Okay?” 

Dejun nodded. “Okay.” 

Before pushing his first digit in, Guanheng moved up closer to Dejun, attaching his lips to Dejun’s own pair, licking into his mouth as a distraction from the inevitable painful stretch. The older appreciated that, looping his arms around the younger, fingertips putting pressure onto Guanheng’s shoulder blades. 

Finally, after what felt like aeons, Guanheng thrust his index into Dejun’s snug opening. The older gasped at the intrusion, his walls protesting the expansion around Guanheng’s lithe finger. It felt so unusual, like it went against everything his body was programmed for, but despite that, despite the burn he still craved it. Dejun’s breathing faltered, wincing as Guanheng pushed in deeper, the tight ring of muscle fighting and standing its ground to no use. 

“Breath, baby,”Guanheng whispered, reassuring and comforting kisses trailing Dejun’s throat. “Just breath. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be alright.” 

Dejun’s nails left imprints of crescent moons on Guanheng’s back, ten individual marks which each sent a shock of electricity down Guanheng’s spine. The younger continued the insertion, going knuckle deep into his boyfriend. He was growing painfully hard, his length untouched and twitching for attention, and the tightness of Dejun’s heat only made the itch for more that much stronger. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself, but he couldn’t fantasise about how good he’ll feel buried deep inside the older, how well Dejun would envelope him with his tight ass. The thought alone brought out a low grunt from deep within his chest. 

At last, Guanheng halted the movement of his finger, inserting the whole length of it inside. He waited for a sign from Dejun. The older needed a moment, his muscles clenching around the foreign object, unsure what to do with it. As he got accustomed to the unfamiliarity, Dejun sought comfort in running his hands all over Guanheng’s back, attempting to get a grip on reality, Guanheng being the one true thing he knew in a sea of the unknown. 

“How does it feel?” Guanheng asked. 

“Odd... a good odd though,” the older responded. As bizarre as it felt, it was hard to deny that there wasn’t something thrilling about it. It was definitely not as bad as he had feared it to be. Yes, it hurt and burned as Guanheng had to practically tear through his opening, but Dejun saw the appeal – and they hadn’t even gotten to the good part yet. Dejun sucked in a deep breath, his lungs filling up with the softly scented air. “I think... you can move,” he stated, ready to progress on. “Just- just be slow, for now.” 

“Of course, Junnie.” With his permission – request even – Guanheng retracted his finger, not pulling out before diving right back in. The act caused the older to draw in a sharp breath, nails once more digging into Guanheng’s abused skin. The younger didn’t mind though. He repeated the movements in a steady rhythm to get Dejun accustomed to it, succeeding when the sounds coming from Dejun were laced with more pleasure than pain. “Look at you, baby. Look how well you’re doing, how pretty you sound,” Guanheng praised in quick succession, lapping his tongue all over Dejun’s neck, making sure to focus more on the spots he knew were extra sensitive. “My beautiful Junnie.” 

“More,” Dejun whined, planting his hand in Guanheng’s locks, strands of hair falling into his eyes, mostly because of Dejun. “I’m ready,” he explained with a hollow pant. “One more. One more.” 

“What Junnie wants, Junnie gets,” the younger said lovingly, pulling out fully before lining two fingers by Dejun’s entrance. “Absolutely anything,” he added softly, barely a whisper. Conscientiously, Guanheng pressed his two fingers in, this time offering a whole new stretch. It burned more this time as Dejun’s walls pulled apart even more to accommodate yet another guest. 

Dejun moaned, his time not paying as much attention to the dull ache in his back. The less he focused on the pain, the more pleasurable it was. Fairly accustomed to it now, Dejun rolled his hips, fucking himself on Guanheng’s fingers with ease, a louder sound of delight slipping through his parted lips. He threw his head back, tugging harsher on Guanheng’s jet black hair, the tinge of pain sending a scorching rush of excitement down to Guanheng’s navel, his slit secreting clear droplets of lust, more than ready at this point to slip himself into Dejun’s enticing warmth. 

Guanheng spread his fingers apart inside, scissoring the older. A chorus of expletives and bawdy moans came right out of the older. That had to feel good. 

“Faster,” Dejun pleaded, pulling Guanheng up to his mouth, their kiss nothing more than an exchange of carnal pants. “Go faster,” he continued, the lewd stretch and burn becoming addicting. He needed to feel it more, but he needed some force to it. As sweet as Guanheng was with his delicate and careful pace, it was clear that at this point he was also holding himself back. Dejun could tell from the strain in his muscles; the way he tensed to stop himself from letting himself go, fearing that if he did, he may end up hurting Dejun which is the exact opposite of what he wants to do. But as he said, Guanheng will do anything Dejun wants, and right now Dejun wants it faster. 

“Y-you sure?” Guanheng asked, stuttering from Dejun’s request. 

“I’m _really_ fucking sure,” Dejun cursed, bucking his hips up as if to reinforce his words. “Please Hen, just fuck me already!” 

Dejun didn’t really swear, or at least he didn’t swear around Guanheng. But on the occasions he did, it did something to Guanheng. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly, or why it happened, but hearing such crude things from Dejun... now that did indescribable things. His stomach twisted, a cold shiver travelling up his spine, all from a couple of words. 

“ _Fuck_ , Junnie! You should hear yourself.” 

Observing the effect he had on Guanheng, Dejun smirked, arching his back and squeezing the ring of muscles around Guanheng’s digits, the older went on, putting on a show for his boyfriend. “Fuck me,” he implored. “Stretch me open so I can take your cock. I want. I want it so bad.” So maybe he knew how to be sensual. Who would’ve guessed? But it definitely came easier under these circumstances; if Dejun had to say any of what he just did outside of a moment like this he would be physically incapable, setting aflame from embarrassment. But now? He was more than happy to beg and plead and act unlike anything he has ever let anyone see. Guanheng was the only one he’d allow to see him like this – after all, Guanheng was the reason behind it all. 

Guanheng groaned, speeding up the pace at which his fingers pumped in and out of Dejun. The older began to writhe, dragging his nails down Guanheng’s skin, etching red roads down the younger’s back. The sting Dejun’s nails caused brought out something akin to a growl from Guanheng, the pain turning into pleasure as it rushed down to his groin. 

With the newly acquired pace, Guanheng looped his free arm around Dejun’s slender waist, pulling the older up and exposing him to a new angle. Now, Guanheng forced his fingers in a few more times, getting closer and closer to the bundle of nerves he knew was there and which he knew would bring out the most lascivious moans from his boyfriend. 

By the way Dejun’s mouth was opening wider and wider, eyes about to roll back, Guanheng guessed he wasn’t far off, and with one more sharp thrust he was able to hit the acute point dead on. Dejun cried out, nerves being sent into an absolute frenzy as his body attempted to comprehend what on earth had just happened to him. Guanheng grinned, lovingly observing as Dejun neared his edge, all because of him. 

“You like that, huh?” Guanheng asked fondly, a faint laughter woven into his question. Dejun moaned in response, hand reaching out for Guanheng. The younger gently let go of his hold on his boyfriend’s waist, instead going out to lock their hands together. He brought the hand up to his lips, placing the most delicate and affectionate kisses imaginable onto each and every one of Dejun’s knuckles, a soft whimper passing through Dejun’s lips. 

“I’m ready,” Dejun declared as Guanheng reached the last joint. “I want you. I wanna feel you – all of you.” 

Now it was Guanheng’s time to whine. He was more than ready at this point, his dick hard as could be, drenched in a shimmering coat of built up precum. Dejun didn’t need to say anything more before Guanheng pulled out, his boyfriend whimpering at the emptiness he felt, clenching around nothing. 

Guanheng leaned over to his bedside table, grabbing the small packet he had grabbed earlier. He tore it open with his teeth with much eagerness, pulling out the rubber. He was about to put it on himself when Dejun wrapped his hand around his wrist, eyes asking for permission. Guanheng didn’t know if he could get harder than he already was, but _that_ look was definitely testing his limits. He bit his bottom lip, holding back a sound that was way over the top for what Dejun was about to do. Despite that, a soft, strained mewl could be heard coming from Guanheng, much to Dejun’s satisfaction. 

The older rolled the latex over Guanheng’s length with what felt to the younger like an excruciating pace. Maybe it was a form of payback for Guanheng’s own torturous tempo. Alas, Dejun had sheathed the younger’s erection, and before Guanheng could grab the bottle of lube Dejun had gotten to it first, pouring the liquid onto his own hands where he warmed it up. Guanheng observed attentively as Dejun brought his hand back up, wrapping it around the younger. 

After going so long without attention, Guanheng moaned with such raw emotion. Dejun covered him up, his wrist flicking in calculated movements, offering Guanheng some additional pleasure before he plunged into the older. 

Once ready, Guanheng positioned himself between Dejun’s legs, his tip teasing the boy’s hole. It already felt larger, and so Dejun inhaled, preparing himself for an even wider stretch. There was a brief moment where everything was calm – the peace before the storm as you may call it. The shadows cast by the flickering candles danced around calmly, easing the older with the patterns creating art on the walls. 

Dejun wasn’t sure if Guanheng had said something because the next second all he could think of was the way he was being filled up with Guanheng’s girth, the spread of his muscle much more than he was prepared for. The older contorted his back, his nails digging themselves into whatever they stumbled upon. His breathing was laboured, air getting lodged in his throat as his whole body focused on nothing but the burn within his ass. Guanheng leaned down towards him, his forehead nestled against Dejun’s neck. 

“Fuck,” the younger groaned. “You’re so tight, Junnie.” To Guanheng the plunge was unlike anything imaginable. It was so obscene, so raw. Nothing could have prepared him for this; the way Dejun was practically swallowing him up, his walls enclosing him with a vice like grip. It was beyond intoxicating. “Relax baby,” he advised, understanding that as exhilarating is was for him to have the older so snug around him, it must ache to be in Dejun’s position. 

The older did as told, surprising himself at the fact that he could in fact breath. With the ability to control his body just that little fraction more, Dejun began to loosen up. Yes, it required some extra time and plenty of kisses being peppered down his throat and clavicle, but it was worth it in the end. Finally, Guanheng had slipped his entire length into the older, and never in his life did he feel this close to anyone. Guanheng was filling him, becoming one with the older in the most intimate way imaginable. In this moment in time, there was nothing that could separate them. For now, they were one. 

“You’re doing great, baby.” Guanheng had begun to praise his boyfriend, waiting patiently for the older to give him a sign he was ready. Until then, he’d throw all the compliments his way. 

Dejun clenched his walls around Guanheng, much to the younger’s joy. Dejun seemed more than eager to start despite his lack of experience and the funny feeling of being filled up to the brim. He didn’t look like he cared about it though, or that he was even affected by it. It’s as if the older had become a whole new person, much more confident and relaxed in what he was doing, ready to take the reins and lead Guanheng right where he wanted him. If Guanheng didn’t know any better, he’d thinking Dejun had done this plenty of times before. 

“Move,” Dejun ordered, wrapping his legs around the older as if a predator clutching onto its prey. “Fuck me.” 

Guanheng’s senses went mad, his knees and arms threatening to give out from the deep commanding edge to Dejun’s voice. There was no way to refuse that tone, nor was there a good reason to disobey. Guanheng shivered, slowly pulling back with a calculated roll of his hips. Before doing anything drastic, he just needed to make sure that Dejun was really fine with this. However, Dejun’s harsh nails and unrelenting hold on him let him know that he was in fact perfectly fine. 

“I’m not fragile,” Dejun assured. It was often easy for Guanheng to forget that his boyfriend was in fact capable of withstanding _many_ things. Dejun carried so much weight on his shoulders, yet he never faltered, going on strong as ever. School, work, friends, family, everything imaginable was the weight he hauled every day without signs of cracking. So it’s true: Dejun isn’t fragile. He’s the opposite actually, and maybe once in his life he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak and delicate and _fragile_ as everyone around him sees him as. 

For once in his life, Dejun wants to be _strong_ without having to take care of everything himself. He wanted someone to take care of him, but without completely making himself powerless in their eyes. He needed that from Guanheng, even if the younger didn’t quite comprehend it to the full extent, but he understood enough to listen to Dejun. 

And so, without any further ado, Guanheng rolled his back, pushing right back into the older with a more confident movement. Not harsh, but also not gentle. Dejun moaned, lips curving up in a blissful smile, limbs pulling Guanheng in closer. 

The younger repeated his movements, and with each roll he pulled more and more out before he fully bottomed out leaving Dejun feeling empty, only to plunge right back into his sultry opening, slipping right in with ease. The lewd cry coming out from the older was the most beautiful sound Guanheng heard in his life, and there was no way on earth that was going to be the last time he heard it. So he did it again. Faster. 

Guanheng drove into Dejun, being swallowed up whole with immeasurable hunger by Dejun’s snug hole. The impact of the thrust was far more tangible than the previous, and an obscene noise of skin on skin echoed around the room. Dejun mewled at that, scratching lines down Guanheng’s back as the younger continued to fuck him open. 

The feeling of compact walls closing down on his sensitive erection was far more exhilarating than anything Guanheng could have ever imagined. As much as he loved Dejun’s pleasing lips wrapped around him, his mouth enveloping him in its wet heat, it really did pale in comparison to the sweltering, sopping entrance that was Dejun’s snug ass. Guanheng couldn't even begin to imagine how the older must be feeling right now, how intense the burn of his muscles giving leeway must feel like. But from the way the older was moaning and writhing beneath him it definitely must be one hell of an experience. 

The younger had picked up a steady rhythm, fucking into Dejun’s tight hole like it was the only thing he knew how to do. He was getting lost to the distinct sensation, the feeling natural and right. Guanheng attached his mouth to Dejun’s throat, sprinkling the older in wet hot kisses all over the expanse of skin before he brought his attention to Dejun’s parted lips, slipping his tongue in with vigour. Dejun made no attempt of resisting, becoming mere putty in Guanheng’s hold to mold and play with. He allowed Guanheng swirl his tongue around his mouth however he wished to, moaning at the way this boyfriend made him feel aflame with the way he handled him. 

Guanheng grunted, tightly gripping onto Dejun’s waist as the older rolled his own body in synch with him, pushing himself further down on Guanheng’s cock, caressing him with his cosy flesh. The hold Guanheng had on the older could possibly leave marks, and whilst in any other situation he would’ve been worried about leaving bruises other than hickies on Dejun’s pristine skin, the bawdy cry coming from Dejun and the way his fingertips curled against Guanheng let the younger know that he had no reason to fret. 

With the secure grasp on Dejun, Guanheng changed the angle ever so slightly, aware that he was yet to reach the bundle of nerves that had Dejun crying out in immeasurable pleasure. Dejun gasped at Guanheng manhandling him, biting down on his bottom lip as Guanheng’s length neared that _one_ spot. He anticipated it, louder and more desperate mewls slipping through his spit glosses lips. 

Then, with a dedicated thrust, Guanheng’s tip hit the distinct spot that let Dejun wailing in bliss, his toes curling and body wracking with a shudder. Guanheng smirked, not giving the older even a second to recover before he attacked again, earning himself another beautiful noise which was music to his ears. He continued, his movements unrelenting, and from the look of things that was exactly what Dejun wanted. 

The older was gasping, clawing at Guanheng’s back his body covered in a sheen of sweat just like Guanheng’s. His lips were purple from all the kissing and biting, and his skin had also changed hues on the spots where Guanheng had attached himself to. Dejun had really been Guanheng’s canvas, now becoming an outstanding painting. Guanheng’s own personal masterpiece, for his and his eyes only. 

It wasn’t quite clear how much time had passed with both boys being thrown into an absolute frenzy, their minds hazy with their closeness together, the feeling that nothing could replicate. However, soon enough Dejun began to feel like he might not end up lasting any longer. He’d already lasted this long which was a miracle in its own right. It was about time, all things considered. 

The intense heat swirling around his abdomen was inching on unbearable right about now. His breathing was becoming more and more ragged, the hold he had on Guanheng far needier, showing the urgency towards his release. Guanheng also was nearing his peak, the rolls of his hips frantic and desperate. 

“I’m close,” Dejun announced with a strain to his voice, Guanheng’s thrusts making it harder to speak. “SO close,” he added with a moan. 

“Me too. _Fuck!”_

Dejun had clamped down on Guanheng’s erection, the pressure offered edging the younger closer to his high. The older threw his head back, the force at which Guanheng plunged into him highly gratifying. 

Guanheng was about to reach down to Dejun’s own leaking length to help him come, however he was stopped by Dejun’s own hand. At first he was shocked, though when he felt Dejun interlocking their fingers together he understood. The older wanted that extra attention, the extra closeness. He wanted to be held through it all. He didn’t need the additional touch when he already felt so good. Dejun would much rather have Guanheng hold his hand through it all, to feel the comfort the younger offered. To feel together. 

With more and more thrusts, Dejun was teetering on his orgasm, tears rolling down from the corners of his eyes, tears which Guanheng kissed away. The older was at his limit, repeating Guanheng’s name like a mantra which was sure to bring him to a state of euphoria. Dejun used all the strength he had within himself to lift his ass up from the bed to give Guanheng even better access. 

“ _Guanheng!”_

And as expected, Guanheng fucked right into him with all the force needed for Dejun to go limp, his body going haywire with the most mind-numbing sensation imaginable to mankind. He released all over his chest, strings of white covering his purpling skin. His back arched before it collapsed back on the bed. The obscene moans and whines forced out through his laboured throat filled the room, sending chills down Guanheng’s spine. 

It really didn’t take much longer before Guanheng dropped his head, because the second Dejun came his walls clenched around Guanheng’s hypersensitive erection. And, with only a few more thrusts Guanheng had achieved his climax, spilling out into his condom with sheer force, Dejun’s name on his lips. 

Before he let his body give out, Guanheng rode out both of their highs with slower rolls of his hips, squeezing down on Dejun’s hand. That didn’t last long though, as sooner rather than later the overstimulation got to Dejun. The older winced, face scrunching up from too much contact. 

Guanheng pulled out, this time without an intent of pushing right back in. It felt odd; not having Dejun’s tight warmth enclosing him was unfortunate, especially considering how enthralling the sensation was. The loss was far worse for Dejun though, his gaping hole too empty for his liking. It was going to take getting used to. 

The younger rolled over, flopping himself down beside Dejun. He let out an airy chuckle, stroking Dejun’s arm with a smitten smile spread wide across his face. The older turned to look at his boyfriend, his grin mirroring Guanheng’s. He giggled even though the uncomfortable sensation of being covered in sweat and his own ejaculate had finally kicked in. It still didn’t take away from how amazing everything else felt. 

“That was by far the best date we’ve ever had,” Dejun stated. 

Guanheng hummed in agreement, moving over on his side. His eyes scanned Dejun’s elated expression, taking a snapshot of it to keep in his memory. Even like this, with damp hair sticking to his forehead, lips bruised and temples engraved with a wet path, Dejun looked absolutely mesmerising. But he always did. To Guanheng he was always the most beautiful thing in all existence, and somehow, he lucked out. Fate had smiled upon him and granted him Dejun and his heart. How unbelievable was that? 

“Though star gazing was also fun.” 

“We should do that again.” 

“You referring to the date or this?” 

Guanheng grinned, leaning in to leave a delicate kiss to Dejun’s glossy lips. “Both.” 

“All down for that,” Dejun responded with a faint laugh. “But before that: shower and cuddles?” 

“It’s like you read my mind.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! If you're interested in the story this is from, it's from Songs We Write which is the sequel to Song For You on my twitter! 
> 
> You can follow me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong) for more. Also, you can leave a comment on my [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/yoongaygl)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!!


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